Giving Advice to Others

“If you are the smartest person in the room, then you are in the wrong room.” — Confucius

Have you given personal advice by starting your sentence with, “If I were you?”

If I were you”, I would have your emotions, the same body, and the same personal history. In other words, I would be you!

Because each person is unique and I am “not them”, I have avoided giving advice to others unless asked. I have found the best advice lies in the eye of the beholder – not mine. That is why for the past twenty years when doing therapy I have used questions and listened to those who asked.

The byproducts for me realizing I am not you, is I no longer judge you. I only judge behaviors. I no longer judge myself – only my behaviors. Behaviors are like clothing – they can be changed. That works for me!

PS: When I was twenty years old between college semesters I worked on an offshore drilling platform. One night I asked an eighty-five year cajun cook for his advise on living. He said, “We get old too quick and we learn too slow.”


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