“If you are the smartest person in the room, then you are in the wrong room.” — Confucius
Have you given personal advice by starting your sentence with, “If I were you?”
“If I were you”, I would have your emotions, the same body, and the same personal history. In other words, I would be you!
Because each person is unique and I am “not them”, I have avoided giving advice to others unless asked. I have found the best advice lies in the eye of the beholder – not mine. That is why for the past thirty years when doing therapy I have used questions and listened to those who asked.
The byproducts for me realizing I am not you, is I no longer judge you. I only judge behaviors. I no longer judge myself – only my behaviors. Behaviors are like clothing – they can be changed. That works for me!
PS: When I was twenty years old between college semesters I worked on an offshore drilling platform. One night I asked an eighty-five year cajun cook for his advise on living. He said, “We get old too quick and we learn too slow.”