Was it a large or small pink elephant with white spots? Despite my instruction not to think of it, you likely visualized it anyway. That’s because our brains struggle with processing negations.
This is a 9 minute audio “Deep Dive”. Listen with new ears:
When it comes to technology—our smartphones, computers, and smart devices—commands are clear and direct: “Enter,” “Power On,” “Add,” or “Subtract.” These instructions tell a machine exactly what to do, avoiding the ambiguity that negations introduce. Yet, in human communication, we frequently frame our thoughts in negative terms, often with unintended consequences.
Why Do We Speak in Negations?
Ironically, these warnings often lead to the very actions they aim to prevent. When we hear “Don’t spill your milk,” our brain focuses on the act of spilling rather than preventing it. In contrast, positively framed instructions—“Hold your cup carefully,” “Play in the yard,” or “Step carefully”—are more effective because they create mental images of the desired behavior.
Be Careful What You Wish For
Similarly, research suggests that suppressing thoughts can make them even stronger—a phenomenon known as the White Bear Problem (where trying not to think about a white bear makes it impossible to stop). Instead of resisting a thought, it’s often more effective to replace it with a positive alternative.
Practical Strategies for Clearer, More Positive Communication
3. Reframe Discomfort – When experiencing pain or stress, imagine a scale from 1 (comfort) to 10 (extreme pain). Instead of focusing on “less pain,” direct your thoughts toward “more comfort” and work toward it.
Was it a large or small pink elephant with white spots?
BTW- That picture of the “DO NOT PASS” sign at the beginning of this post is an example of a dangerous negation that kills or injures thousands of Americans every year. In contrast, other countries use a more directed sign:
Eight (8)
Do not have fun, 😉
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