My language patterns are going to be very unusual in this post. Most likely you have never heard/seen anyone write this way. It might be helpful to have a pen and paper to write down the location of these “identity parts”. When we are learning something new, it can be confusing. Stay to the end of this posting and I promise you will learn something new. It is about becoming more whole and complete.
Twenty- nine years ago during a client therapy session the client asked me not to use the word “You” when asking him questions. I got curious and asked him , “so when I say You, where is your “You”? Is your “You” inside or outside of your body? He answered, “it’s in my stomach!”
When we are children many times our caregivers will make derogatory statements to our “You” and for protection many of us have our “You” disassociated outside of our bodies. Statements like, “Look what You did”! Unfortunately, the client above was also physically abused as a child and he had a metaphorical 🥾 boot in his stomach. So where is your “You”?
Listen to this audio in a Safe Place:
Over the years I have further expanded my questions to asking where people’s I, their first names, their nicknames, their me, their myself, and their spirits are located. Many of us have our identity parts scattered inside and outside of our bodies.
Sometimes these identify parts can be moved inside of your body if the identity part is outside your body. The more your identity parts are integrated, the more you will have a greater sense of self.
If your “You” is outside of your body, you are better able to accept criticism; however, when you are told , “I love You”, there aren’t any feelings or very few feelings. If the same person said, “I love You, (with your first name)”. More than likely your feelings will be stronger.
I have found through questioning that first names are often inside of our bodies. Have a loved one say both of these statements either in-person or on the phone and notice the differences. Hopefully by adding the first name there is a pleasant feeling, I usually say to my wife, “ I love You Laurie” because I know her You is outside of her body.
Why it is important to have your “I “ inside your body and your “You” outside your body for these reasons:
1. If your “I” is outside your body when you make internal dialogue “I” statement, such as, “I” want to ..”, it is unlikely to motivate you because their are no kinesthetic emotional feelings attached to your “I” . Listen to next audio.
2. If your “You” is outside that is fine! If it is inside, personally I would move it about three feet away or further if your “You” gives unpleasant feelings.
Many times these identify parts are located outside of our bodies and will allow themselves to come back inside our bodies by simply listening to the audio below. If an identity part does not want to come into your body, honor the refusal because the part might have trauma in it’s background.
Audio for the integration of your Me, Myself, your Names, and your Spirit:
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