Was it a large or small pink elephant with white spots? Despite me instructing you, “not to”, you likely visualized it anyway, as our brains struggle with processing negations.
In the realm of technology with our smartphones and computers, commands are clear-cut, directing devices with instructions like “Enter,” “Space,” “Power On/Off,” “Add,” or “Subtract.” etc. These commands are designed to elicit specific actions, avoiding the ambiguity of negations.
Positive directives can shape our behavior and mindset, steering us toward more successful outcomes.
So why do we humans frequently use negations in communication? Our upbringing has ingrained it in us through phrases like “Don’t spill your milk,” “Don’t go into the street,” or “Don’t fall.” Yet, these warnings often result in the very actions they aim to prevent.
Instead, framing instructions positively, such as “Be careful with your milk,” “Play in the yard,” or “Be cautious,” can lead to more favorable outcomes.
Do not think of the number of negations that are in “The 10 Commandments” (Answer at the end).
You can break this pattern by telling yourself and others what you want, rather than what you don’t want. Remember to be careful what you wish or pray for, especially if you use negations. Examples: ‘I don’t want to die’ versus ‘I want to live.’ Notice how these two different statements appear in your mind’s eye.
The advice to repress thoughts, paradoxically, may only serve to strengthen intrusive ideas. Instead, consider these strategies to improve communication with yourself and others:
- Positive Language: Rather than using negations, express what you want directly. For instance, say “Be careful with your milk” instead of “Don’t spill your milk.”
- Visualize Positively: Imagine a TV screen showing what you want or what you’d like others to do. Then frame your thoughts in positive, directive language based on those images.
- Discomfort Scale: When dealing with discomfort, envision a scale from 1 (comfort) to 10 (extreme pain). Aim to reduce discomfort by focusing on comfort (e.g., moving from a 7 to a 1).
Do not have fun, 😉
BTW- That picture of the “DO NOT PASS” sign at the beginning of this post is an example of a dangerous negation that kills or injures thousands of Americans every year. In contrast, other countries use a more directed sign:
Eight (8)
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